


Green Light

by lookingforthestars



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: College AU, F/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22261381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lookingforthestars/pseuds/lookingforthestars
Summary: Gert shows up to his apartment at midnight. Chase is smitten. Too bad he can't get her to stick around.
Relationships: Chase Stein/Gertrude Yorkes
Comments: 6
Kudos: 82





	Green Light

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little fic inspired by “Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High” by Arctic Monkeys. One of many commitment-phobic Gert college AUs, which are all amazing and much better than this, but whatever. I write what the muses give me, I have no control over it.

This isn’t normal.

Like, he’s well aware of that. They’re not dating. They are, _arguably_ , friends. They’re at least more than acquaintances…he thinks.

Chase doesn’t really have a word for the girl who floats into his apartment at odd intervals – he tried to find a pattern, but there is none – usually nearing midnight or after, like some kind of reverse Cinderella.

They met at a party two months ago and he doesn’t remember a single thing about that night except the first time he saw Gert. Downing a shot of tequila, laughing hysterically at some joke her goth friend was telling her (Nico, he knows her name now), the lights from a discount-party-store disco ball reflecting off her vivid purple hair. It’s cheesy, because is a human cheese puff, but he swears something went off in his brain in that moment, and all he knew was he needed that girl in his life somehow.

He did get that much.

That was the first night she came over, after her friends thoroughly vetted him to gauge whether or not he was a creep. He passed the test, apparently, because they’d left together to get burgers at the late-night diner down the street, debated for a few hours about the effectiveness of political third parties, and then crashed in his bedroom.

Gert was unlike anyone else he’d ever met. Not that there was any shortage of activists – they did go to a liberal college in California, after all – but Gert had a way of speaking that made him care deeply about things he’d never considered before. Things that didn’t touch him personally, but it didn’t matter, because Gert made everything seem important.

And she was fun. God, she was _so_ much fun. Every moment he spent with her was thrilling, made him feel more alive in the strangest way. She was an atom bomb, emitting far too much energy for one person to contain. He happily absorbed the excess, even when it sort of felt like it was tearing him apart from the inside out.

He never knew what to expect when she showed up. Sometimes she was serious and introspective, ready to dive down an existential rabbit hole. Sometimes she was worked up and wanted to make out, which he almost never turned down, and a few times she’d pushed it further. Sometimes she was in the mood to drink beers and watch a movie, and her taste in movies was, just, genuinely terrible. He told her so, often. She ignored him.

Chase knows the exact moment he realized her presence in his life was getting out of hand. The attractive girl from his physics class – Eiffel, if he was remembering correctly – offered to bring over Chinese food and help Chase study. Her flirty tone suggested that was just the start of what she had in mind.

He thanked her and politely declined. Because what if Gert stopped by, and he was with another girl? Even under innocent circumstances, he didn’t know how she would react. Didn’t know if she would stop showing up altogether.

“Dude,” Alex, his irritatingly practical roommate, said when Chase explained his dilemma. “You’re an idiot.”

“Why?”

Alex rolled his eyes. “If you’re so hung up on this Gert chick, why aren’t you dating her?”

“It’s complicated,” Chase muttered.

It wasn’t, actually. They weren’t dating because Gert bailed before he woke up. Every. Single. Time. If Alex hadn’t accidentally bumped into her one night when he stayed up coding until dawn, he would have thought Chase was making her up.

She was what his mom would probably call a “free spirit,” and she resolutely changed the subject every time he suggested going out for coffee or pizza or doing literally anything when other sane people were awake. He couldn’t even get her to stick around for breakfast. He didn’t understand why. It wasn’t like he would propose marriage if she stayed for cereal.

Probably.

“Okay, follow up question, if you’re not dating her, why not take hot physics girl up on her offer?” Alex said with a raised eyebrow.

They never finished the conversation, partly because Chase was late to class by that point, and mostly because the answer was as sad as it was stupid.

He didn’t want anyone but Gert.

* * *

He’s an idiot.

Gert doesn’t want to be tied down, and while that is entirely her right, he just doesn’t _get_ it. They click together perfectly, or at least they do in his head, and he knows things get muddled in a three a.m. haze but this might be the one thing he sees very clearly.

She’s a lucid dream that he can’t control – wait, he doesn’t want to control her, that’s not what he means, but he wants to hold her down, just keep her in place for five seconds so he can understand what any of this means to her. If it means everything, or nothing. For all he knows, he’s not the only one – just a stop among many on Gert’s Grand World Tour.

“Seriously, can you just imagine how many brilliant inventions were just ignored because women and minorities couldn’t get patents? Or how many _are_ patented but under a man’s name? It’s a travesty.” Gert raises her eyebrow, because Chase is clearly five million miles away. “If you’re bored, I’m happy to change the subject. I’ve been doing some very interesting reading about hashtag activism.”

“What? Sorry.” Chase blinks, thinking about how dumb it is to be distracted by thoughts of Gert while she’s literally sitting two feet away from him. “Uh, long day.”

“Oh. You want to talk about it?”

Alex thinks she’s selfish, but he vehemently disagrees. Gert may not be willing to give him what he really wants, but that doesn’t mean she’s a bad friend, that she isn’t caring. She’s a little closed off, a little guarded with her emotions, but she’s probably the most genuinely caring person he knows.

It’s part of what makes him so crazy, honestly.

“Not really.” Chase sinks back into the couch, shutting his eyes. “Keep going. You were talking about inventions?”

He waits for her to continue with her TED talk, but he almost chokes on air when he feels her climbing onto his lap instead. Chase’s eyes fly open, met with her very amused ones. “Sorry,” she says unapologetically, her hands coming up to cradle his face. “You just look really hot right now.”

Chase suddenly feels about four thousand degrees under her touch, and for a second he thinks about telling her it’s not a good idea, because his feelings get incredibly muddled when things get physical. His feelings are always muddled – Gert is frankly impossible to figure out, or maybe she’s very easy to figure out and he just doesn’t want to acknowledge reality – but when her hands are all over him he pretty much can’t think of anything other than what a truly terrible idea it was to fall for someone he simultaneously does, doesn’t, and can’t have.

She leans in, lips soft against his, and he doesn’t stop her. It’s just one of those things, like skydiving or climbing a mountain (he guesses, he’s never done either) – the risk is well worth the reward. Even though he knows he’ll be disappointed when he wakes up alone, he can’t imagine denying himself anything that feels this good. His adrenaline is through the roof and the little moan that comes from the back of Gert’s throat is pure poetry, honestly.

He’s an idiot. But they’re in college. Everyone’s an idiot.

* * *

Chase always sleeps like the dead, especially after spending time with Gert. She usually keeps him up until crazy hours of the morning, for one thing, and he always feels relaxed around her, which is kind of funny because she’s not an objectively relaxing person.

That’s why it’s a shock when Chase wakes up, and she’s still there.

Barely. She’s already putting her jeans back on and patting down her hair. She’s like a ninja, almost completely silent, and it’s no wonder she’s never woken him up.

It’s still dark, so he figures it must be before seven, when he usually rolls out of bed to find her long gone. “Good morning,” he mumbles, smirking when she jumps out of her skin.

Gert tugs on her t-shirt, throwing a glance over her shoulder at him. “Uh…morning.” This is new territory and it’s very clear that she doesn’t know how to handle it.

Chase stretches, his brain still a little foggy but clear enough to realize this is a rare chance he might never get again. “Gert,” he says quietly, rubbing a hand over his face to clear the sleep out of his eyes. “You don’t have to run out. Let me make you coffee or something.”

She stills momentarily, her shoulders tensing. “I can’t. I have class.”

“Not right now, you don’t. No one’s up this early but the rowing team.” Chase swings his legs over the edge of the bed, watching Gert lean down to lace her boots like she didn’t hear him. Her hair is still a little messy, and Chase wonders not for the first time what it would be like to _really_ wake up with her, to see her smile up at him calm and unguarded.

He’d love to find out, one day.

“Gert.” She doesn’t stop, so Chase forces himself up to a standing position and grabs her forearm, lightly enough that it doesn’t startle her. “C’mon, stay. Please. I won’t make you late for class, I promise. You’ll have plenty of time to shower and change if that’s what you’re worried about.”

She finally meets his eyes, and Chase isn’t at all prepared for what he sees. Gert looks panicked. The girl who comes to his apartment at midnight is wildly confident, knows he’ll never say no to her, but doesn’t seem like she’d care much if he did. This version of Gert is new and frankly kind of heartbreaking.

“Wait, what’s wrong?” he asks, tightening his grip almost subconsciously. “Gert?”

Her face screws up and she sighs, pulling her arm back and tucking a messy strand of hair behind her ear. “Chase, don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“We have a good thing, right? Don’t try to make it something it’s not.” Gert shrugs, and her voice is unconvincing, but with Gert he’s never really sure if he’s seeing a crack in the mask or trying to will something into existence with his imagination.

“It might be a good thing for you, that doesn’t mean it’s good for me.” _Wow_ , he didn’t mean it like that, it’s just so early and he wasn’t prepared for her to push back so hard and now her eyes are clouding, defenses up in full force. “No, Gert, I just mean I like you, is it so crazy to want to spend time with you outside of this apartment? Or to like, I don’t know, actually know when I’m going to see you again? It’s kind of hard to do everything on your terms all the time. Is this really all you want from me?”

Her silence is absolutely deafening. If a SWAT team burst into his apartment right now, it wouldn’t be any louder than this silence. And now he remembers why he’s never asked her the question that’s been rattling around in his brain for two months.

Because he’s pretty sure he’s going to die before she says anything.

Gert stares at him. Her expression is unreadable but not blank – he knows she’s having some kind of reaction but he can’t, for the life of him, figure out what.

“Yeah,” she breathes, nodding. “It is.”

The ball of anxiety and feelings in his chest crashes through the floor, a million miles down and probably ends up on the other side of the world. “Oh.” Chase swallows, already regretting the words before they leave his mouth. But he has to. It’s not enough even though he wants it to be, and it’s not fair to either of them to always be hoping for _more_. “I don’t think we should keep doing this.”

Gert doesn’t look surprised. She looks resigned, like she knew it would always end this way. He wonders if she’s had this conversation with someone else before, maybe more than once, maybe he’s just the latest lucky victim to fall too hard into Gert’s orbit.

“Don’t worry,” she says, slinging her jacket over her shoulders and fanning her hair out over the collar. “I won’t come back.”

* * *

Chase is taking this a lot harder than he expected.

He knew it wouldn’t be _easy_ – his feelings for Gert had been inching past “deep like” for quite some time. But he now has this internal alarm that makes him look at the door every night at five minutes to twelve, like she’s going to change her mind and just waltz right in, blowing up his life all over again. He’s not sure what he would say if she did. Chase doesn’t regret what he said – except he regrets it _so_ much, except he _doesn’t_ , maybe it’s both. He thinks he feels every possible emotion that exists towards her, all at once, and it’s…a lot.

He’s young and college is a time for casual relationships – he wishes he knew how to just be her friend, an occasional hookup, a sounding board. He thinks he could if it was anyone but Gert, but since she’s gone and ruined him for anyone else, he’ll probably never find out.

_Dude, we’re going out tonight._

Chase rolls his eyes at the text. Alex had been pushing – bullying, really – him to leave the apartment, but he doesn’t want to. Wallowing is satisfying, and besides, this is the one place on campus he’s guaranteed _not_ to run into Gert. _Pass._

_Your moping makes me want to kick your ass. We’re going out tonight or you’re moving out._

It’s an empty threat – probably – but Alex might be right. He hasn’t gone anywhere except class or work in three weeks, and while he definitely doesn’t want to meet anyone else right now, a night out with his friends might not suck too hard.

_Fine. But you’re buying all my drinks._

* * *

Well if this isn’t the déjà vu from hell.

Gert is in the corner, throwing back a shot of tequila and laughing, and for a second, he thinks he’s projecting a memory onto some poor random girl. Except there’s no disco ball this time and it’s definitely Gert, in real life, in the exact same shitty bar Alex dragged him to.

Fuck the entire universe.

He’s barely had anything to drink yet, fortunately, so he searches the floor until he finds Alex talking to a cute girl with braids and politely interrupts. “I’m leaving. I’ll see you at home.”

“What? Dude, we just got here.”

“Yeah, and _she’s_ here, so it’s better if I’m not.” Alex is just looking at him, this weird smirk on his face, like he’s the opposite of surprised by that information. “What did you do?”

“It’s not his fault. I kinda…asked him to bring you here?” says an uncertain voice behind him. Chase turns around really slowly, weirdly so, probably. He knows that voice, he’s spent dozens of hours listening to it.

Gert is pressing her lips together, looking sheepish but determined. Alex and his mystery girl disappear into the crowd, but he’s only vaguely aware of it, because his brain is fully crowded by the intensity of how much he’s missed her.

“H-Hey.” Wow, that is…eloquent. How weird that he’s not an English major. “You did?”

“Yeah. So here’s the deal.” Gert crosses her arms over her chest. The leather jacket she’s wearing looks amazing on her and he wants to tell her that, but it doesn’t seem like the right moment. “I didn’t handle things great, with us. Like…ever…but especially the last time.”

Chase nods, a pounding in his head that he can’t attribute exclusively to alcohol or the music. He thinks he might be short-circuiting. “I didn’t mean to corner you. I’m sorry. Just because I wanted more didn’t mean I was entitled to you feeling the same way.”

Gert smirks a little. “You were listening to me.”

“Always.” His voice comes out too soft. He clears his throat. “Do you want to maybe be friends, at least?”

Her eyes get big, and good god, he’s not even sure how he messed up now. “Do you…not like me anymore?” she asks, her confidence breaking as glimpses of panicked five a.m. Gert emerge.

“No! Wait, what?” Chase steps closer, wishing he was just a little less disoriented around her. “Of course I do, Gert. But you said-.”

“Yeah, I say a lot of things, I don’t always mean them.” She bites her lip. “What I brought you here to say, even though I’m clearly doing a shit job of it, is…I do want more from you. W-With you. I always did. But you’re just… _you_ , you know, and I thought the second we went out into the real world, that bubble would burst. It was so much easier to keep it casual, shove it into a box away from the rest of my life, so it wouldn’t be so catastrophic when you decided you were bored and ghosted me.”

Chase inhales sharply, feeling like he might drown under the weight of all this new information. “Gert, I don’t think it’s physically possible for me to get bored with you. You are, hands down, the most interesting person I have ever met.” He takes a chance and rests his hand on her elbow, sliding it down until his fingers are linked loosely around her wrist. When she doesn’t move away, he gains a little bit of courage and adds, “I’ve been going crazy since you stopped coming over, by the way. I know what I said, but if that’s all you’re comfortable with, then…”

“Stop, Chase,” she says, but it’s gentle, with no hint of irritation. Gert’s free hand goes to his chest, her palm flat and warm over his heart. “If you really want to be part of the rest of my life, then I’m ready for that. But just like…go slow, okay? I’m new at this.”

Chase smiles, probably the stupidest grin in the history of the world, but Gert smiles back and it’s more dazzling than a thousand disco balls. “Okay.”

When Gert stands on her toes to kiss him in full view of everyone, when they spend the night dancing and drinking and laughing with their friends, when they go back to _her_ apartment and fall asleep at four in the morning, when he wakes up and she’s still there, and she looks gorgeous and she insists on cooking him breakfast…it doesn’t compare to his imagination at all.

It’s so much better.


End file.
